I figured this out during the pandemic
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I really don’t know how to convince people they should care about others.
I don’t know how to teach empathy.
It’s simply a property you have or don’t have. Obviously it’s a more meaningful, deeper thing than being a bootstraps sociopath. But the thing is, if someone needs an actual reason to have empathy, then they just aren’t truly a good person really.
The way I try to convince them, is by saying that empathy is the reason they are here, and have what they do. And that like others gave to them, they should give to others. It’s like a retroactive deal, where the reason the whole thing works, is because you pay forward to the next generation, in hopes that they will do the same.
Then we got generations of bootstrap sociopaths that leave their own children in impossible situations. They don’t care about right or wrong.
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You’re taught empathy by empathetic parents.
And we see now a lot of families have a long lineage of cunts.
My father wondering why my brother is psychotic, after he laughed at and teased him every time he cried, and told him men don’t cry. I knew this, and tried the soft approach, but he told me he is way older and more experienced, that he knows what he is doing.
My brother broke his hand with a stick. To be fair, I found it hard to be empathetic to a child crying because they didn’t get something also, I’d just crack up if it was something absurd, I couldn’t help it. We lived like absolute shit, and he is freaking out because he lost in a game.
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It’s crazy to me that the people around me would rather “accidentally” harm someone that doesn’t deserve it than accidentally help someone that might not deserve it
It’s up to us, to apply plain force, economic or otherwise to get these people in line. It’s the sad reality. We have two options: do something about it, or let it burn, and hope more of us than them survive.
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I really don’t know how to convince people they should care about others.
I don’t know how to teach empathy.
Western capitalistic mantra idolizes individualism. Its so ingrained in the culture that you can actually not care about anyone outside of your ingroup and do okay. In other cultures you would be cooked.
Lack of empathy is a natural consequence of the culture. I always find it fascinating that people here relish in their disdain towards others. Don’t get me wrong people can be annoying.
But when you combine disdain for others with a perception of patriotism that is centered on violence, you are creating the optimal conditions for fascism to take root.
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I swear to fucking god that it’s not even that; it’s people that care for others, and people that are willfully ignorant that it’s actually pragmatically cheaper and more efficient to care for others than to treat them like shit.
Pandemic as an example : the more you stay indoors and try to stop the spread of the virus, the faster the pandemic ends and the faster YOU can get back to normal. FORGET that it also stops people dying and protects the vulnerable, it’s in YOUR SELFISH INTEREST.
Or having a basic system of social welfare : giving bread to a poor person costs the price of the bread. Having to imprison them, pay for cops, repair of broken things, investigations etc costs more fucking money. even if you hate people and want them to die, it’s fucking CHEAPER FOR YOU.
But I wanted to go to the salon and then to applebees
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People follow their emotions. It feels bad for a poor person to get a “handout”, and it feels good for a “bad” for a bad person to be punished. That’s pretty much it. Multiply it by “my in-group is good and my outgroup is bad”, and you get conservatism.
Notice that it’s a stupid world view. It’s at the level of toddlers.
If we want to change how these people act, we need to reach them on their level. Facts won’t do it. They’re not listening to facts. You need to make them feel good when they do the right thing.
It does feel like being held hostage by a cranky toddler, yes. We have to pander and beg and appease them because they’re too selfish and stupid to realize it would be better for everyone, including them, if they just cooperated.
It feels bad for a poor person to get food is only true under a capitalist brainrot worldview. Throughout most of human history it felt good to help the poor.
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It’s not just about caring for others. They get offended by seeing anybody be a better person in any way, so they want to criminalize being a good person to never feel inferior to others again, without having to actually do anything good themselves.
Kind of tall poppy-ish isn’t it? Even just acknowledging that good can be done can trigger some really hostile reactions from people.
Like I get it, we’ve been trained into it to manage the information density and society we find ourselves in, but surely you’d expect the human part to kick in at some point right?
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It’s crazy to me that the people around me would rather “accidentally” harm someone that doesn’t deserve it than accidentally help someone that might not deserve it
Fuck me that’s a good way to put it.
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I don’t think I’ve encountered any of those behaviors, except maybe rarely in like middle school. Those are not healthy, prosocial behaviors, nor are they commonplace.
not healthy, prosocial behaviors, nor are they commonplace
Of course they aren’t.
But you require that kind of experience to create a person that would go “leave me alone” with the pitiful tone of someone who has had to decrease their expectations from life more than what is commonplace.
And of course, even for a middle-schooler, that won’t be enough.
On top of that you will require that whenever they were to try to complain to the teacher about it, they then would have to be told off instead of being helped. Because you are “not supposed to study in the study room during the afternoon rest time”, even though you will not get to sleep either, because others are wrestling around in the dormitory. -
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Only so long as shame has power. Once it doesn’t, that mask come off.
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I swear to fucking god that it’s not even that; it’s people that care for others, and people that are willfully ignorant that it’s actually pragmatically cheaper and more efficient to care for others than to treat them like shit.
Pandemic as an example : the more you stay indoors and try to stop the spread of the virus, the faster the pandemic ends and the faster YOU can get back to normal. FORGET that it also stops people dying and protects the vulnerable, it’s in YOUR SELFISH INTEREST.
Or having a basic system of social welfare : giving bread to a poor person costs the price of the bread. Having to imprison them, pay for cops, repair of broken things, investigations etc costs more fucking money. even if you hate people and want them to die, it’s fucking CHEAPER FOR YOU.
Ur pandemic example is flawed. Its absolutely quicker to just let everyone go about their lives as usual. The only people at risk of death where the elderly or those with comorbidities. Letting 1-1.5% of the population die would be far quicker and due to the demographics effected would have actually been good for the economy not counting the economic wins of not shutting everything down for ages.
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you just want to pay a lot of money to make them miserable, and also waive any benefit that society could recoup from having them be fed.
Pretty much what they want, but some are even worse. There is a phrase “3 hots and a cot” to mean 3 meals and a place to sleep. People like my uncle say it with disgust, as if they shouldn’t be fed, that they’re somehow on an enviable vacation being in prison… They’re so gross…
Yep, familiar with that phrase. I’ve also heard stories of people “robbing” banks for a dollar just so they could get put in jail for that bare minimum of food and shelter (and idk if it’s true but the unhesitating believability of it alone is a damning indictment). So really, by withholding food and shelter from free people, we’re incentivizing criminal activity.
Do these law & order, fiscal conservative republicans want to lower the crime rate and reduce spending or not?
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I don’t care about others, therefore I don’t care who they love, what they do with their bodies, how and where they live their life as long as it doesn’t impact my choices and my life.
Would I be in that second camp then?
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I had to pretend to not care about others, because you actually get shamed if you do care. So I push forward all sorts of anti-social things, because it’s best we just end this society thing now and stop hurting each other.
Humans are clearly unworthy of having societies. So I run on 0 trust.
Name checks out
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I don’t think I’ve encountered any of those behaviors, except maybe rarely in like middle school. Those are not healthy, prosocial behaviors, nor are they commonplace.
Then check your privilege before judging those who experience this kind of stuff.
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Oh there is further division.
There’s also those who understand that they care too much for their own good and try not to.
And then there is those that are good at finding out what others care about and using it against them.There are also those who care too much about others’ good (sort of). Codependency.
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I don’t care about others, therefore I don’t care who they love, what they do with their bodies, how and where they live their life as long as it doesn’t impact my choices and my life.
Would I be in that second camp then?
Would you stand up and speak up on someones behalf if injustice was done to them and they couldn’t defend themselves?
I know it’s a bit harsh and just a different interpretation but one could easily read your stance as “at least i don’t actively hurt others, so dont shame me for not caring about them as long as it doesn’t affect me”
Again a bit harsh i know but maybe worth thinking about 乁( •_• )ㄏ
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Would you stand up and speak up on someones behalf if injustice was done to them and they couldn’t defend themselves?
I know it’s a bit harsh and just a different interpretation but one could easily read your stance as “at least i don’t actively hurt others, so dont shame me for not caring about them as long as it doesn’t affect me”
Again a bit harsh i know but maybe worth thinking about 乁( •_• )ㄏ
Would you stand up and speak up on someones behalf if injustice was done to them and they couldn’t defend themselves?
In front of me? Yes, but i wouldn’t go volunteering saving oppressed people.
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Yep, familiar with that phrase. I’ve also heard stories of people “robbing” banks for a dollar just so they could get put in jail for that bare minimum of food and shelter (and idk if it’s true but the unhesitating believability of it alone is a damning indictment). So really, by withholding food and shelter from free people, we’re incentivizing criminal activity.
Do these law & order, fiscal conservative republicans want to lower the crime rate and reduce spending or not?
Unfortunately I think a lot of these people are like that fox news host… “Just kill em all.”
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Read the Law of One. It explains it well.
