First my microwave broke. I can’t cook on the stove or oven so I went a few days without food.
Then my loaner microwave broke in a most spectacular fashion that caused anaphylaxis.
Almost as soon as I got a new microwave, construction began in the unit above me which necessitated my leaving the apartment.
Leaving my home is nearly impossible in my current state of health. It costs far too many spoons and finding a safe environment is a herculean task.
I found a place to go, but unfortunately the scented products there triggered another episode of anaphylaxis.
My baseline was demolished.
I finally returned home only to find out my washing machine was broken.
I have severe MCAS and chemical sensitivities. Laundromats, dry cleaners or laundry services are not an option.
I’m in a huge city and there’s not a single service that can guarantee scent free.
So now I’m stuck trying to hand wash my clothes while I’m too weak to stand, when I was supposed to be coming home to recover from multiple setbacks.
This is the life of someone with complex chronic illness.
Stuff that would be barely a blip for a healthy person can absolutely shatter us.
I am shattered.
I’m not writing. I’m barely sleeping. Eating? What’s that? Resting? Gosh knows I’m trying but it eludes me as well.
I want to thank everyone who’s helped support me through this. Either logistically or with messages of support.
I’m feeling pretty down but this community is keeping me going.
You guys lift me up and make me feel like I’m making a difference in the world.
When I’m suffering and in pain, that means everything to me.
I will hopefully write about this when I’m feeling better as I’m sure my experience mirrors others. But for now it’s rest, rest and then resting some more!
#chronicillness #mcas #spoonie #disability
