Brb gotta make a sacrifice* to appease the pie gods.
*eat a pie
Brb gotta make a sacrifice* to appease the pie gods.
*eat a pie
Accidentally paid attention for a few seconds. It was terrible.
DJ: Shake what yo mama gave ya!
Me: *gives anxiety and depression a little shimmy*
How to Enjoy a Joke in 17 Easy Steps
The secret ingredient is a shitload of butter.
Me [on a first date]: No, I've seriously never huffed spray paint before. Why do you keep asking me that?
Coworker marking an email "high importance" because they fucked up and need me to bail them out