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Top pirate quotes for this Talk Like A Pirate Day:
Don't debase yourself for a man who hasn't a single tureen on board!
Use the snail fork.
Some of us are trying to bask in moonglow!
You're a fucking lunatic, and I like it.
It's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothing. 
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@TheBreadmonkey Fuck all those people choosing set a reminder for bins. (Yes, that *is* an instruction.)
I chose option 3 because I thought this most likely to get me to a human conversation. Please. Please B3NN. Please help me.
@TheBreadmonkey LET ME TALK TO A FUCKING HUMAN. THE BIN MEN WILL BE HERE SOON. OMG
@TheBreadmonkey Can I talk to a human please?
@TheBreadmonkey Could you do me a favour and put the bins out? Ta!
I have to pretend to be neurotypical* this weekend.
Sometimes it's a fun game where you throw in random questions because you know people will like it:
- How are you getting on with your job?
- Didn't you go away recently?
- Did you see that thing that's big on Netflix at the moment?
Usually they then start talking about a thing and I can nod and smile and occasionally repeat back what they've said.
"Oh yeah, so expensive.... all the time, yeah! ... Greece in September... She had a potato up there?!"
A few times yesterday I had people say, "nice to see you again!" and my brain wanted to say, "who the fuck are you?" because I don't remember them in the slightest. Today will be a fun day though.
Feel free to suggest other top quality neurotypical questions I can use to make small talk with people I will probably never see again!
*Shout out to my keyboard that suggested neurosyphilis as the word there...
Trying something new to see if I utterly hate it or can handle it for 24 hours.
These are just glued on so we'll see... I usually hate anything on my fingers and pick it off immediately, but I'd be quite happy if I could have fancy nails for special occasions.
Bonus: these nails match my comfy jumper.
@trinitybat it's very imaginative: miffyhelen 
Thank you, Fediverse! Goodbye, Amazon!
I've now successfully "liberated" my Audible books into playable MP3 files with Libation.
I've got all my Kindle books as readable text thanks to Calibre.
And Storygraph imported all of my Goodreads data!