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  4. You calm down

You calm down

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Microblog Memes
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  • A IngeniousRocks (They/She)

    “You” statements are often read as accusatory, consider the “I” statement: “I need you to calm down because I’m becoming stressed by your attitude”

    C This user is from outside of this forum
    C This user is from outside of this forum
    clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    wrote last edited by
    #16

    “I feel stressed with your attitude” is the I statement. It needs to start with your feelings on a particularly situation.

    Even better is one that doesn’t include an accusation. “I feel stressed when you get upset over stupid shit” works better if you keep it to “I feel stressed when you get upset.” – keeps the discussion on feelings instead of openning it up for an argument on stupid shit.

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    2
    • G glimse@lemmy.world

      I know this is a joke but it made me think how messed up it is that we’ve outsourced recognizing our own emotions lol

      Also, now a bunch of companies have tons of data on when and where we feel things

      W This user is from outside of this forum
      W This user is from outside of this forum
      whelks_chance@lemmy.world
      wrote last edited by
      #17

      You say outsourced, but it’s not like (men largely, but probably everyone) were super in touch with our emotions previously.

      1 Reply Last reply
      6
      • pimento64@sopuli.xyzP pimento64@sopuli.xyz

        Telling people “calm down” is a very unconstructive de-escalation tactic because it has no substance. People respond much better if you address specific conduct, explain a potential consequence, ask for something else, and then give space.
        For example, when someone needs to calm down, I tell them “You’d better fix that attitude problem of yours before it gets you into trouble”, and then as soon as they begin to respond I interrupt with “Close your mouth” and I walk away. This makes people realize they’re overreacting and they calm down right away.

        W This user is from outside of this forum
        W This user is from outside of this forum
        whelks_chance@lemmy.world
        wrote last edited by
        #18

        Sounds like a great way to get a chair upside the back of your head.

        1 Reply Last reply
        9
        • S sploosh@lemmy.world

          None of that sounds productive to me. It seems accusatory and self-satisfied to the point of being abusive. Sounds like the kind of things infuriatingly rude people say and do to try and deflect from their own toxicity.

          DaGeek247D This user is from outside of this forum
          DaGeek247D This user is from outside of this forum
          DaGeek247
          wrote last edited by
          #19

          I thought that was the joke; this is such terrible advice that it’s obviously a troll/sarcasm levels of joke.

          1 Reply Last reply
          12
          • G glimse@lemmy.world

            I know this is a joke but it made me think how messed up it is that we’ve outsourced recognizing our own emotions lol

            Also, now a bunch of companies have tons of data on when and where we feel things

            W This user is from outside of this forum
            W This user is from outside of this forum
            wolflink@sh.itjust.works
            wrote last edited by
            #20

            The “take a minute to breathe” thing is on a timer; it doesn’t react to detected emotions.

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            6
            • RmDebArc_5R RmDebArc_5
              This post did not contain any content.
              B This user is from outside of this forum
              B This user is from outside of this forum
              big_slap@lemmy.world
              wrote last edited by
              #21

              I kinda like it when my watch tells me that im stressed out and to do a breathing exercise. it helps me realize that I’m probably upset over absolutely nothing in the heat of a moment.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • pimento64@sopuli.xyzP pimento64@sopuli.xyz

                Telling people “calm down” is a very unconstructive de-escalation tactic because it has no substance. People respond much better if you address specific conduct, explain a potential consequence, ask for something else, and then give space.
                For example, when someone needs to calm down, I tell them “You’d better fix that attitude problem of yours before it gets you into trouble”, and then as soon as they begin to respond I interrupt with “Close your mouth” and I walk away. This makes people realize they’re overreacting and they calm down right away.

                S This user is from outside of this forum
                S This user is from outside of this forum
                shalafi@lemmy.world
                wrote last edited by
                #22

                The number of people addressing this post as serious advice is troubling.

                Laughing when I got to “Close your mouth”!

                pimento64@sopuli.xyzP 1 Reply Last reply
                6
                • pimento64@sopuli.xyzP pimento64@sopuli.xyz

                  Telling people “calm down” is a very unconstructive de-escalation tactic because it has no substance. People respond much better if you address specific conduct, explain a potential consequence, ask for something else, and then give space.
                  For example, when someone needs to calm down, I tell them “You’d better fix that attitude problem of yours before it gets you into trouble”, and then as soon as they begin to respond I interrupt with “Close your mouth” and I walk away. This makes people realize they’re overreacting and they calm down right away.

                  5 This user is from outside of this forum
                  5 This user is from outside of this forum
                  5too@lemmy.world
                  wrote last edited by
                  #23

                  image

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  4
                  • A areakode@lemmy.world

                    My Fitbit like to congratulate me on getting so many In The Zone minutes. I’m not working out, but thanks I guess?

                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                    alecsadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                    wrote last edited by
                    #24

                    My Fitbit does this because my resting HR is so high, lol

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • S sploosh@lemmy.world

                      None of that sounds productive to me. It seems accusatory and self-satisfied to the point of being abusive. Sounds like the kind of things infuriatingly rude people say and do to try and deflect from their own toxicity.

                      pimento64@sopuli.xyzP This user is from outside of this forum
                      pimento64@sopuli.xyzP This user is from outside of this forum
                      pimento64@sopuli.xyz
                      wrote last edited by
                      #25

                      Calm down.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • S shalafi@lemmy.world

                        The number of people addressing this post as serious advice is troubling.

                        Laughing when I got to “Close your mouth”!

                        pimento64@sopuli.xyzP This user is from outside of this forum
                        pimento64@sopuli.xyzP This user is from outside of this forum
                        pimento64@sopuli.xyz
                        wrote last edited by
                        #26

                        It is, but keep in mind that if you don’t intentionally misinterpret things you know to be jokes, you won’t get to act smug about how awful they are. It’s good to see we have some people bringing the core aspect of reddit culture here.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • RmDebArc_5R RmDebArc_5
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          🔍🦘🛎Z This user is from outside of this forum
                          🔍🦘🛎Z This user is from outside of this forum
                          🔍🦘🛎
                          wrote last edited by
                          #27

                          DHL forgives you

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                          1
                          • RmDebArc_5R RmDebArc_5
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            Q This user is from outside of this forum
                            Q This user is from outside of this forum
                            ɔiƚoxɘup
                            wrote last edited by
                            #28

                            I had the same reaction when my my Google Assistant told me that while it was not a real person that my words are real

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